I can’t read minds, but I’ve got a pretty good idea as to what some folks, even relatives, think about me. If they were so bold, and perfectly honest to put it into words, they might say something like this:
You are too old-fashion and out of touch with the times. You are narrow minded and unwilling to compromise. You refuse to consider that there is some good in everyone and all religions. Don’t you know one religion is as good as another if you are sincere? After all, we all worship the same God. You won’t even allow non-baptist to preach in your church. What’s up with that? And while I’m talking about it, why do you insist on using the name “Baptist”? Don’t you realize that you would attract more people if you used a generic name? And, talk about offending people, you keep insisting that people be immersed for baptism. I’ll have you to know my grandpa was sprinkled and he was the best Christian I ever knew. But I’m not through. I’ve got plenty more to say.
You refuse to use any of the modern translations of the Bible.That’s silly. That old King James version is out of date. And if that wasn’t bad enough, you keep singing those old hymns. They are so boring! But that’s not the worst thing. I’ve got a problem with your preaching as well. You preach about God’s law and man’s sinfulness—even calling the names of sin, and the blood of Jesus. Then you try to tell us how we ought to live. Butt out preacher– how I live isn’t any of your business. I was really offended when you said it was wrong to get a divorce and that people shouldn’t remarry as long as they have a living spouse. Are you crazy? It also makes me angry when you talk about the husband being the head of the house and that wives should be in submission to their husbands. That is so stupid—almost as bad as you telling us we ought to spank our children. Don’t you know that will hurt their self-esteem? And before I forget it– I have a lot of gay friends who are wonderful Christians–who are you to judge them. And don’t even get me started about your preaching against abortion–I might lose my temper like I did that day when you criticized President Obama. I’ll never forgive you for that!
I wish you would resign. You don’t even dress like a preacher. Those silly suits and ties are out of style. Why don’t you dress casual? I never even see you wearing shorts in public. My last preacher wore them to church– he was really cool and the teens loved him. You ought to try it. Well I guess that’s enough for now, but there is plenty more where that came from. O yeah, I almost forgot— I hate the way you comb your hair! Now what do you have to say for yourself?
PS– You are too judgmental!
My response—- “THANKS!” Guilty as charged!