Note: This is the latest post on the Pastor’s blog. For more go to our website. This is, the best I can tell, what I preached yesterday morning without an outline. I wish I had been better prepared, but this is what God laid on my heart. I hope it will provided food for thought and be helpful to someone. Perhaps at a later date I will try to put the message in a better form.

WITHOUT NATURAL AFFECTION

“Without natural affection“–2 Tim. 3:3
Something terrible has happened! I know– you can think of a lot of things to put on that list, but I’m talking about something worse, something that probably causes the things on your list. I’m talking about the loss of natural affection. The older I get, the more things change, the more I am reminded of Paul’s statement. Of all the things he mentions this one seems to be on my mind the most. Perhaps because, to me, it is the most shocking. I can’t believe what has happened in just one generation. It is heart-breaking!

God created us as social beings in need of one another and with affection for our family. Even unsaved people have a natural affection for their own– at least they did. But, something has happened to change that–something terrible. We now live in a time when people are so focused on self-gratification that family means little or nothing to them. While this isn’t new ( think Roman Empire) it is worse than ever and getting worse. The lack of affection is so obvious that you can’t miss it. Abortion (1.6 million per year in America), the remedy for those who don’t want to be bothered by a baby, has become so commonplace that hardly anyone raises a protest anymore. So, if people do that to innocent babies, what makes you think they will actually love you? They have no natural affection.

Today, even within the so-called best families, we don’t see the closeness and tender affection we saw in earlier generations. What we see is people who are disengaged, disregarded, disrespected, etc. and pointing out the problem doesn’t seem to do any good—after all, how can you make people who don’t care start caring by telling them they don’t care? You can’t! So why do I even raise the issue? I do so because this is a big part of the problem. Things have become so bad that we’ve developed a “Why try?” attitude– after all, we would be happier doing something else. Right? Now do you see that we’ve become a big part of the problem? We prefer happiness to holiness and we don’t have time or affection for those who don’t aid us in the pursuit of it. We are so in love with ourselves that we have no time for those who might distract us from our goal of pleasing self–even if that person is mom or dad, grandpa or grandma. Our concern for them is conditioned on what we can get from them. So sad! However, regardless of how unlikely it is to help, we ought to keep trying. Although we can’t change the world we can awaken a few folks, and that’s better than nothing. The fact of the matter is that we have an obligation to denounce sin and declare the truth even if no one listens.

We wonder what’s wrong with the world, and much could be said about that, but if this was the only thing wrong we would soon have all the other problems. A failure of the family affects all of society in every way. Without natural affection the family fails and that affects the children for the rest of their lives and that creates problems far beyond the walls of the home. Without natural affection there will be more and more spousal abuse, domestic violence, child neglect, affairs, perversion, divorce, etc. The failure of one family unit leads to the failure of another and another, unto the third and fourth generation. The sad fact is that some of you are setting your children’s families up for failure right now. If something doesn’t change the outcome is certain.

If we’re going to find out what to do to change this we must first ask ourselves how it happened. To find the cure we must see the cause. How is it that something natural becomes unnatural? Here’s the answer—without a doubt it is due to our failure to keep the first and great commandment—“Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind”(Matt. 23:37). A failure here leads to a failure everywhere. If we don’t love God, who is perfect, we certainly won’t love others.

The phrase “without natural affection” comes from one Greek word (astorgos) that is found in only one other place in the Bible–Romans 1:31. It means exactly what it says, “unsociable”, “unloving”, “inhuman”. It is the absence of the kind of love for family that is instinctive. As to the cause of this condition, the best commentary and explanation is Romans 1:18-32. If you understand that section of scripture you will understand why people are “without natural affection”. In case you aren’t familiar with those scriptures, it may be summed up like this. In these verses Paul tells us that the root of sin is man’s rejection of God. He worships the creature rather than the Creator. The result of this rejection is that God gives them over to their sins and the consequences (vs.24, 26-32). That’s why I say, “Sin has its own built in consequences, or punishment”. We are punished by our sins for our sins. In these verses Paul list several sins that result from man’s rejection of God, and it is an ugly picture!

Now, here’s something you need to remember– although sin manifests itself in different ways it always has the same root cause–putting self ahead of God. The same thing that causes people to leave the natural use of their body and do things against nature (Rom. 1:26-27) causes people to be “without natural affection”! Now, are you starting to see the seriousness of your sin? The very thing that drives the homosexual, the incestuous pervert, the rapist, adulterer, murder, etc. drives you to be without natural affection. Your sin might be different, but it flows out of the same cesspool and it pollutes everything it touches. Pretending something is normal doesn’t make it so and changing the name doesn’t make it less serious, and making it lawful doesn’t make it right!

Here’s something I don’t want you to miss. As we look at the sins listed in Rom. 1 we tend to argue about which sin is the worst. But I want you to notice that we don’t get to the bottom of the barrel until we get to vs. 32 which speaks about the sin of approving of those who sin. It describes people who not only enjoy doing what they know is wrong and deserving of death, they also take pleasure in others who do the same. They give their hearty approval to it. They publicly celebrate what God condemns. As a result God allows sin to run its course, which results in their ruin. He abandons them because they approve of that which is an abomination in His sight. When we condone what God condemns we’re in trouble–we are in trouble–serious trouble! And when I say, “We’re in trouble” I don’t just mean that it is sad that grandma sits alone in a stinking nursing home, or that wives are battered and bruised, or that little children are abused and neglected, etc. I mean something much worse.

Th worse thing about sin is not what it does to you or others. The worst thing about sin is that it offends a holy God! The mind of man cannot fathom the depths of his depravity nor the heights of God’s holiness. The difference between man and God is so vast that we can never fully understand the true gravity of our sins. They are worse that words can describe. What you consider to be the smallest slightest sin in the world is deserving of you being tormented in hell forever.

So, what’s the solution? As surprising as it might seem, it is the same for every sin and sinner. To be forgiven of the sin of lying requires the same sacrifice as any sin you can think of. Does that shock you? It shouldn’t–but it certainly should humble you and me! I pray that God will help you see that the absence of affection, a lack of love, is a serious sin–not a minor matter that we can dismiss as a mere short-coming, flaw, or fault. If you are without natural affection something is seriously wrong in your life. It is so wrong that it should cause you to fall on your face before God and repent with bitter tears.

It troubles me greatly that a lot of folks attend church every week, sing praise to God, maybe even work in the church, and then treat their own family members like trash. They act as though all is well between them and God when it isn’t. Even when the evidence is clear to see, they deny their lack of love, or excuse it– as though it is someone else’ fault. If I had preached about certain other sins some of you would have shouted yourself horse saying “Amen!”, but when it comes to your lack of love you are as quite as a church mouse–because you are guilty!

Even as I close this message, I feel that I have failed miserably in my effort to explain the seriousness of this sin. We keep wondering what has happened to the family institution when the answer is exactly as I have described. The failure of the family is due to the absence of affection, which is caused by our failure to love God as we should. Unless and until our love for God is renewed there is no hope that things will improve. Call it revival, a spiritual awakening, or whatever you please, it all boils down to the same thing, our love for others won’t improve until our love for God increases.

WITHOUT NATURAL AFFECTION

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