Doing our Duty

In a small fishing village in Holland, a volunteer rescue team was
needed in cases of emergency. One night the winds raged, the clouds burst
and a gale force storm capsized a fishing boat at sea. Stranded and in
trouble, the crew sent out the S.O.S. The captain of the rescue rowboat team
sounded the alarm and the villagers assembled in the town square overlooking
the bay. While the team launched their rowboat and fought their way through
the wild waves, the villagers waited restlessly on the beach, holding
lanterns to light the way back.

An hour later, the rescue boat reappeared through the fog and the
cheering villagers ran to greet them. Falling exhausted on the sand, the
volunteers reported that the rescue boat could not hold any more passengers
and they had to leave one man behind. Even one more passenger would have
surely capsized the rescue boat and all would have been lost.

Frantically, the captain called for another volunteer team to go after
the lone survivor. Sixteen-year-old Hans stepped forward. His mother grabbed
his arm, pleading, “Please don’t go. Your father died in a shipwreck 10
years ago and your older brother, Paul, has been lost at sea for more than a
week. Hans, you are all I have left.”

Hans replied, “Mother, I have to go. What if everyone said, `I can’t
go, let someone else do it?’ Mother, this time I have to do my duty. When
the call for service comes, we all need to take our turn and do our part.”
Hans kissed his mother, joined the team and disappeared into the night.

Another hour passed, which seemed to Hans’ mother like an eternity.
Finally, the rescue boat darted through the fog with Hans standing up in the
bow. Cupping his hands, the captain called, “Did you find the lost man?”
Barely able to contain himself, Hans excitedly yelled back, “Yes, we found
him. Tell my mother it’s my older brother, Paul.”

We never can tell what glorious things might happen when we give God our best effort!

As a pastor, and parent, I know things that I’m not at liberty to share with everyone. As I often say, “As you look around the room you would be shocked if you knew what great struggles some people are going through”–boy is that ever true! I know people that are dying and they don’t want their identity revealed. I know others who are going through great fearful trials that others know nothing about. Then of course there are all the other prayer request that are common knowledge –the list never seems to stop growing, and that’s enough to drive you to your knees. You get the picture. We need to pray.

If that describes you, don’t give-in to the ways of the world; don’t give-up to the weakness of the flesh; don’t give-over to the wiles of the devil. There is help at hand. The Spirit of God will enable your to do what the Word of God commands you to do. If you yield yourself to His control He will do through you what you could never do on your own. If you refuse to respond as you should it will bring a double-defeat– the perpetrator hurts you and you hurt yourself. Contrary to what you’ve heard, revenge isn’t sweet– it is sinful. Chances are you feel that you deserve to be pitied, but the person to be pitied the most is the person who hurt you. Their unkindness is something they will have to answer to God for and, believe me, that will be worse than anything you have suffered at their hands.

It is amazing how cruel some people can be. Not only will they “bite the hand that feeds them”, they will take your whole arm off and then ask you to give them a helping hand! Why they do such things is a mystery, and we usually spend too much time trying to figure it out. Trying to understand why might prove helpful for you to help them, but it is  waste of time as related to how you should respond to their injustice. In our Lord’s command in Matt. 5:43-48 there are no qualifying phrases. He doesn’t say, “love..bless…do good..pray” for them if they’ve had a bad childhood, a horrible experience, etc. He just says “do it”. Regardless of why they do what they do we are to do as we are told. Too many times we decide what we will do based on why the other person did what they did. But, as far as our response is concerned–it doesn’t matter why they did it. Our love for others is to be unconditional and our obedience to the Lord is to be unquestionable. We are to persist in love even if others persist in sinning. What they do has no bearing on what we should do. Their failure doesn’t justify ours. As the children of God we are to “overcome evil with good“(Rom. 12:21) and to “walk in love“(Eph. 5:2). Every offense against you is an opportunity for you–an opportunity for you to show others the difference that Christ can make in a person’s life. If we are ever to bring them to Christ they need to see that. As someone said, “You are the only Bible some people will ever read”. Let’s make sure they get the right message. Think about it!

We have a problem with this for a couple reasons. First, we are born with a sinful selfish nature. Second is the fact that most parents fail. They teach their children that to get what they want all they have to do is cry, complain, or criticize. As soon as they whimper the mother runs to their aid. And most parents today think they are showing love by not spanking their children. Actually just the opposite is true. You are hurting your child more by not spanking them than you are by spanking them. Other than Christ there has probably never been a child that didn’t need a spanking at some point. Even when a child gets older, past the point of spanking, you can’t always help them by helping them. You are not doing your kid a favor by bailing them out of trouble every time they do something wrong. They don’t always need a soft place to fall– sometimes they need to hit rock bottom. If you aren’t careful you will become an enabler. You think what you’re doing is out of love, but it isn’t. Love gives them what they need, and sometimes they need to hurt before they can be helped. The old song that says, “No one ever cared for me like Jesus” is true, but the care He gives sometimes is painful.

I could name people I love with all my heart who think or accuse me of not loving them at all. I have helped them, although they have never helped me, yet they accuse me of being the evil person. That hurts, but I would rather endure the pain than to hurt them, or others, by letting them have their way.It’s not always easy, but it’s right. When people try to get you to do what they want and you refuse they often resort to one of the oldest tricks in the book–they say, “You don’t love me”, hoping that will put you on a guilt trip and cause you to cave in to the pressure. Don’t blame me for the choices you’ve made that have brought you to this place. If you want to change your circumstances change your choices.

Just as I was about to finish this article I received the following message from Bro. Randall Turner, so I’ll let him wrap up my thoughts–he said it well:
Self-inflicted Consequences:

Pro 19:19 “A man of great wrath shall suffer punishment: for if thou deliver him, yet thou must do it again.”
“Experience is a good teacher if we would just learn from it. The wise person observes others and learns from their experiences and doesn’t have to experience the losses and pain! But some people never seem to learn. One of the types of people that never seem to learn are those that are filled with anger, bitterness and wrath. Certainly there are some who have good reason to be bitter and angry but in the end this is just their excuse for being so full of wrath that they are always ending up in trouble. They have chosen not to deal with their own anger and bitterness and instead chosen to pour it out on others. They refuse to process their problems and offer forgiveness and thus they are caught up in a cycle of wrath and punishment. This is where you often get sucked in. If they are a loved one, or a family member or even a close friend you will get some of their wrath and if you ever bail them out of their self-inflicted troubles you can be assured you will have to do it again and again and again! We’ve been ministering to homeless and addicts for at least 10 years now and I’ve learned that this proverb is extremely accurate by way of the cycle of wrath, punishment and bailing out. Once you start bailing them out they will wear you out because they are never going to change. I know, it hurts to tell them NO and it causes deep pain to see them suffer but delivering them from their self-inflicted troubles over and over is not helping them and it is costing you dearly. It is in fact enabling their destructive behaviors. You are helping them kill themselves and injure others. So my advice is twofold: First, if you are a person of great wrath you need to be ready to suffer consequences of your wrath or better yet ask God to help you deal with your anger and bitterness. Second, if you think you need to bail your angry bitter friend out then you better be prepared to do it again and again and again. In other words, leave them to suffer the consequences of their actions. It is the consequences that have the power to begin changing them, not your bailing them out of their troubles. “