Someone recently asked me a question and I said, “I don’t know. I’m just the pastor”. Now, while that was tongue-in-cheek, there’s a lot of truth to it. Being the pastor doesn’t mean I have all the answers. There are a lot of things I don’t know. Let me give you some examples. There are things I don’t know because—

—I’m not as smart as some people.

—I’m not as knowledgeable in certain areas as some folks. I can’t repair a computer, overhaul an engine, read music, or do sign language.

—It’s not my job. Being the “overseer” doesn’t mean I should or need to know everything. That’s why we have ministry leaders.

—I don’t need to know. Since I’m not God there are a lot of things I don’t need to know. What a relief!

—I don’t want to know. I hear a lot of things I would rather not hear.

—Others don’t want me to know. Some people withhold information from me for various reasons, good and bad.

—Some refuse to tell me. Some people want me to know certain things, and they hope I am troubled by it, but they don’t want to be the one who tells me. It happens all the time. It usually goes something like this. Someone gets upset over something, decides to stop attending or to leave the the church, and then do so without ever saying a word to me. They don’t even have the common courtesy to tell me about it. That speaks volumes about their character. Such disrespect tells me that they have a problem other than the “problem” that has them upset. Isn’t it strange– they figure it’s okay for them to do wrong because they feel something else is wrong. They simply walk away without their pastor knowing anything about it, until a request for a church letter comes in the mail. Some of the people who wouldn’t think of resigning their job without a letter of resignation and proper notification to their employer leave the Lord’s church without a word. Then they have the audacity to lay the blame on the church. That immediately makes me think there was no justification for their actions, nor cause for their complaint.

After years of observation, I’ve come to realize that when a person makes up their mind to leave a church they will find a “reason” to do so. Rather than take the blame they will find fault with something or someone and use it to make it appear that they are justified in leaving. Instead of saying, “I am backslidden”, or “I am guilty of sin”, or “I’m not getting the attention I crave, or the position I want, or the credit I deserve”, etc., they try to lay the blame on someone else. These folks then run from church to church until they finally get what they want, or they drop out altogether, because, to hear them tell it, there are no good churches. Rather than deal with their own problem, they want to blame everyone but themselves. I’ve heard people say, “No one likes me!” Well, maybe there’s a reason for it. Instead of blaming them, it might be more helpful if you took a good look in the mirror. You just might discover that you are your own worst enemy. Get yourself right with God and you will be amazed how happy, and helpful, you can be right where you are. Think about it!

As any pastor can tell you, Christians can be some of the most patient, thoughtful, and kind people in the world. Thank God for them! But they also know that some church members can be some of the most critical people on earth. Pastors, however, aren’t the only ones aware of this. Ask any ministry leader what the most difficult part of their job is and they will tell you it is dealing with fault-finders, critics. They know that regardless of how hard they try it will never be good enough for some folks. That’s why it takes a thick skin to stay in the ministry over the long haul –they can’t take the heat so they get out of the kitchen. And if they throw in the towel, guess who speaks most harshly of them? Yeah you guessed it— the very ones who criticized and discouraged them to start with! However, there is someone who, for all practical purposes, usually quits before they do, and that’s the critic himself.

I can tell you from nearly half a century of ministry that most critics aren’t faithful in attendance or ministry. They tend to bounce around like a rubber ball. About the only way to keep them going is to cave in to every complaint, succumb to every suggestion they make, and let them rule the roost. In other words, if they aren’t running the show they bail out. If they don’t get their way they take their bag of marbles, like a child, and head for home. That’s exactly where some members are right now. They got upset about something so they dropped out. And eventually the reason for their rebellion will filter back to the pastor— they will see to that! So they sit at home pouting when they ought to be serving God. Instead of getting their heart right and getting back into church, they try to justify their rebellion by pointing out the faults of others— as though they are better than them. They criticize others but fail to take any responsibility for their own actions. They quit on God because of what somebody else has done, or didn’t do. Does that make any sense?

Here’s something else I’ve learned– most of these people are sitting on the edge of their seat waiting  for the pastor to contact them and ask “What’s wrong?” Other pastors can do as they please, but I refuse to play that game. I am not going to waste my time being a baby-sitter for childish critics who see everyone’s faults but their own. If that describes you, you might as well look somewhere else, because I’m not coming. As a general rule, no one loves the church more than the pastor, yet no one is more aware of its faults and still he continues on. My point is this— seeing faults in a church doesn’t give you the right to leave it. Awareness of its faults should make you more helpful, not more of a hindrance. Any pastor worth his salt doesn’t cut and run just because the church is less than perfect. Neither should you! Why should the failure of someone else cause you to fail?

One of the saddest things about these people is that, based on my experience, they seldom change. Although they could recover, the very nature of their problem makes it difficult. Their pride makes them critical and it also keeps them from admitting they are wrong. They have a reputation for being hard to please and they live up to it—year after year! I suspect some have died because of it. So,if you are a church critic I hope you will be the exception of the rule and ask God to deliver you from the sin of fault-finding. Rather than mentioning every flaw you see help us mend them. But you will have to start with your own before you can be of help to others. May God help me be a better example for you. Together we can make a difference, but we have to be different. Think about it!